


Caritatem Autem Non Sumus Hospites

by 2WritersinATrenchCoat



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Happy Ending, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, at least, fluff if you squint i GUESS, i think im funny, implied jaspearl ig, mmmm delicious angst, no beta only death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25437754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2WritersinATrenchCoat/pseuds/2WritersinATrenchCoat
Summary: For a long time, Lapis has heard about a song playing at the back of your head meant something special, yet for some reason she hasn't heard hers for a long time.(Soulmate AU - Song stuck in your soulmates head appears in the others head)
Relationships: Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	Caritatem Autem Non Sumus Hospites

She never had a song in her head, not for a long while at least.

She'd hum old hymns from when she was free along with the other Lazuli's but that slowly faded as she forgot the words and got stuck on a particular verse of the song. The quiet buzz of the silence made it hard sometimes, she wished she did have a soulmate sometimes if nothing to have a break in this, horrible, horrible solitude.

She knew it was true. 

She's heard about them, the very quiet hushed elites spoke of them, secret songs that'd pass between to gems that bonded so well beyond imagination.

She thought it was a rumor, but when a memory of two jades that found each other, the soft glances, the giggles, the incredibly in sync hums of a song that no one knew...

Or the time her partner Lazuli 4XB sometimes hummed under her breathe a song, a random song that she'd never heard of.

Or perhaps when she caught eyes of a pearl (a _pearl_ of all things) happily singing a song, and the eyes of a quartz watching in awe as it clicks. The meeting happens right before her eyes of the quartz sneaking to meet the pearl in the back of the castle.

She hoped it was true.

And perhaps that was why she kept the small songs, over and over and over. Even if they were broken and just small shards of the past, that maybe one day she'll hear a song back.

She wished it was true.

(For her.)

**____________**

There was always a repetition of words at the back of her head.

_Aaaahhh~.... Aaaahhh~...._

It was soothing almost, entertaining but it served no purpose. She never really _knew_ what it was. It'd repeat the same thing over and over, sometimes it'd stop and phrases would be broken but it was always the same.

Not until Steven told her what _music_ was.

"Music?"

"Yeah!"

She's not sure what she thought of it but it took until bringing it up to Garnet that, she learned what 'soulmates' were.

"That's your soulmate's song."

"My soulmate's song?" 

"Yes, whenever there's a song stuck in one gem's head... The other will hear it. Most of us have it."

She had to wonder why she's never heard of this 'music' before. Since it apparently was vital to finding your Percy or Pierre, it seemed logical that such information should've been important to spread among the gems but apparently not so.

But at the information that she had learned, she thought that perhaps for the perfect bonding experience that she should listen to all kinds of music. Her soulmate had to expands their tastes after all!

Despite the puny selection of songs her soulmate seemed to have... She couldn't deny or help but find comfort in hearing it, always.

Always since the awakening from her kindergarten it was there. 

**____________**

**'CRRRRAWWWWWLLINNNGGG INNNNNNN MY SSKIIINNN!'**

Lapis knew she had a soulmate.

Instantly.

The second she heard that dreaded, dreaded noise called a 'song' from her awakening in the ocean. Of all dreaded noises she was pretty sure that was the reason for her downfall while fusing in with Jasper.

"Not again..."

"OH SHUT UP!" Jasper yelled while trying to strangle Lapis in the distance, "THAT NOISE!"

"I can't HELP it!" She yelled back, since their minds were literally melded together in some awful way that the music just rang across the body and both were stuck with whatever song that their other half decided to play and get stuck in their head.

Lapis was going to strangle her soulmate for making this experience worse.

Sometimes some disgustingly weird jingle would come from Jasper's side which both ended up crying over their soulmate's horrible music tastes and an argument between both sides on whose was worse would come up.

_'Cam's, Cam's shaft is the place to-'_

"Seriously?! How often does she listen to that dumb song?!" Lapis snarled as she gripped her hair in utter frustration.

"Hey! Don't talk about my soulmate like that!" Jasper snapped back.

"You like it?!"

"No. But at least it's not whatever garbage your soulmate is listening to."

"Hey! Her- her stuff has passion at least?!" The awkward questioning tone in her voice admittingly weakened her defenses in trying to defend her soulmate but whatever.

(She was couldn't deny that she was.... Happy she had one, finally. Finallyfinallyfinally.)

**____________**

Now that she had shared a barn with Lazuli, she had hoped that it was alright to play 'music' from their lovely new stereo she had acquired. She reluctantly and tiredly agreed to listen to it, 

"No screaming though."

"Huh? Uh, alright!"

Peridot did have a 'metal' and 'alternative rock' (According to Steven, that was the music genres, personally she found them befitting of her considering their namesakes) phase but she was listening to this stuff mostly just to give her soulmate the joys of music from the Earth. So she tried her best to expand her horizons of course, the radio which offered numerous songs seemed like the best start.

Her soulmate seemed to have expanded her genre by a tiny minuscule, playing some weird commercial song she sometimes heard on the radio. She actually had to wonder if her soulmate was on Earth?

The prospect was exciting to meet her after so long of hearing their soothing voice.

Peridot had to admit whenever the commercial song 'Cam's Shafts' came up on the radio though, Lapis would instantly shut the thing off in a bad mood. 'Not again' or 'oh no' she'd mutter. She wondered why? And yet the song play at the same time, as if instantly stuck in her head. Looked like her soulmate must've really loved the song!

It's when Peridot started singing the Camp Pining Hearts intro that Lapis started acting mostly weirdly however, that it stuck out to Peridot.

"You..."

Peridot would glance over to her.

"Hm?"

Lapis's face would twist pensively, her frown made Peridot squirm a little, she never really liked it when Lapis was upset. But Lapis's face softened, but she gives a lopsided, weak smile.

"Nothing, it's nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." 

It occurred to Peridot, later, much later what Lapis had realized in that moment.

**____________**

"We can leave together, you, me, and the barn!" Lapis said so excitedly, she was so sure that Peridot would leave with her.

She figured it out, of course she would leave with her right?

(But she never tells her, why would she? ~~She hates herself, who would want her? What they had was good enough. That was good enough.~~ )

It's when Peridot doesn't want to go that Lapis is truly heartbroken, but she left anyway. Leaving her _soulmate_ behind, why should she have her? 

She doesn't deserve a soulmate.

~~She wished she was shattered.~~

Disgusting, she knew who she was but she still chose to left out of her own selfish cowardice. It later becomes one of her biggest regrets, that she trapped herself, right where she started. She always hated the silence but yet the music served as a reminder for what she's done to her soulmate and she doesn't know how she feels about that.

And in these lonely, lonely times, instead of the old hymns she'd recall from so long ago that would be stuck in her head. 

It's the Camp Pining Heart's theme song that would play over and over.

**____________**

The Camp Pining Heart's theme song.

It'd play over in her head and Peridot wasn't sure how she felt about it. 

She'd play different songs while in her solitude of the bathtub, despite the misery she felt just to have something go through for her soulmate. 

Yet no matter what song the radio played, the Camp Pining Heart's theme song would continue in the background of her head, was that the song that was stuck in her head?

And it stings when she realized why it played.

The old songs of a broken repetitive song no longer repeated, and she never realized because she was always with the one she loved. That the small comforts of the soft melody that always played had changed.

"Lapis."

**____________**

"You came back..." Peridot's shining face looked up at her, so hopeful... So... _Happy._

"Hey." Lapis said, quietly, nervously, anxiously.

She promises that she'd never do that again. Never ever, ever, ever would she hurt her like that again.

It's after the fight though, after everything that has happened, everything that has passed.

She flies down towards Peridot who sits at the beach.

"Camp Pining hearts... That's the place- the place-"

"That's for you and me." Peridot quietly finished as she glanced over to Lapis and she envelopes her in a big hug. Lapis stood there, frozen at the contact she was never really quite use to. But she awkwardly wrapped her arms around back.

"You're my soulmate." She proclaimed simply, so quietly. 

"... Mhm."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Peridot said, her face looked hurt at the revelation that Lapis obviously knew about. "Was I just that-"

"No! Stop-stop blaming yourself, it's... It was never you okay?" Lapis quickly interjected, she took a step back from the beach. Her hands on Peridot's shoulders as she squarely looked in her eyes to reassure that fact.

"I just...." Lapis started off slowly, where did she even begin? Her face faltered and her eyes stared out to the ocean. "Didn't think... I was..." Her voice trailed off pathetically, "I... I didn't think I was good enough for you."

(She still doesn't.).

"That's not true." Peridot responded instantly, her face frowned in resolve at that fact. "You-".

Lapis quickly quieted her with a raise of her hand, to let her finish. Her face twisted in misery, "I... I know I have a whole lot of work to do. And, right now I _still_ feel like... That. But... I want to be better. So that, I won't leave you again."

Peridot's face does look hurt at the fact, and the look is like daggers to her gem. She regretted that so badly. She hugged Peridot tightly, her body shook with emotion, that she was never good at saying, but can only display lamely with subtle motions and hope to the stars someone could magically read it.

"I'm sorry. For leaving you, and... Hurting you. I never want to hurt you, ever again... So when I do something wrong, please... Tell me."

Peridot's head nodded softly in her shoulder.

This is what Lapis dreamed of, Peridot was all she dreamed of.

**____________**

Songs played through their head, Lapis couldn't help an affectionate roll of her eyes when the ridiculous opening for Camp Pining Heart plays, yet it seems to be the most common song that pings back and forth between them.

"Your music tastes suck." She'd joke.

"I think you need to expand your genre intake." Peridot would shoot back easily.

She never has to hear the silence again, and the music only served as a reminder of what she loved.


End file.
